New New.

Over the next couple of days i'm going to be undergoing a dramatic change for the blog. Instead of my thoughts this will now be a place where i review good and bad movies of all kinds. Hoping to get some views. Peace.

Sick.

i woke up this morning, stepped out my door, and what would be on my steps? a cat. not just any cat. a fucking dead cat. i almost stepped on it. i almost puked. who puts a dead cat on someones doorstep? it looked like it had been run over by a car. anyways that was the beginning to my day. all in all it was a pretty good day, although i was nauseous and uneasy all day. these kids with big green and red mohawks across the street keep playing music and thrashing their heads around. when i looked out my window they started yelling and flipping me off. i would bet money it was them.

Capital v. Life.

Following the execution of a death row inmate last night by firing squad i did some research. let me start by saying i am all for the death penalty, i just think it takes too long. 14 years on average. i believe that when you kill an innocent person(purposefully) your life is then forfeit. especially if the victim is a child. but i googled for about 2 hours trying to find this information for you. if my math is off let me know.

A. Total number of death row inmates as of October 1, 2009: 3,270
B. Average time spent on death row: 14
C. Average yearly cost to house death row inmates: $30,615.26

A * B * C = $1,401,566,602.80 to house every death row inmate until execution(that is including housing, food, lawyers etc.)

A. Number of inmates serving life sentences: 127,677(in 2002/2003, supposedly the numbers have only gone up since then)
B. Average cost to house an inmate for life sentence: $1,500,000 or $1.5 Million

A * B = $191,515,500,000 to house inmates for life.

Remember this is all average and i shouldn't be quoted for exact numbers. if you have other figures or you would like to correct me you always can. i'm not saying we should just kill all inmates serving a life sentence. it would save us money but that's only my opinion. and also death row inmates shouldn't be on death row for that long. i believe the most time spent on death row was 29 years. sadly most inmates in prison never get even close to a high school education. as of now we have no real rehabilitation methods set up to get inmates education and life skills needed to send offenders back into the real world to contribute to society. granted individual prisons may have such programs but i'm speaking for the whole. i believe our money would be better spent rehabilitating the nonviolent offenders instead of letting them out(after getting free room and board) to commit more crimes. anyways that is my thought on the matter.

Whalestoe.

Alas this terrible hour is slowly taking in my every image, housing all variants, every nuance of something that only really yearned to offer time ever long lasting.

Redbox.

tonight i saw a black man try to rent a redbox movie with a dollar bill. after all i does say $1 movies. this is slightly funny but made me sad. he looked so disappointed and embarrassed. he probably felt stupid. he only wanted to rent a movie and probably got laughed at. by me! i felt horrible. i can't stop thinking about him. i wanted to rent him the movie for his dollar and assurance that he would return it. but alas i did nothing. i hate feeling stupid and let down. and i bet he did too. this is kind of corny to say but i'm gonna say it. we are all people and we all have the same feelings. God Bless America.

Narcissus.

this whole thing seems awefully pretentious to me. narcissistic even. i have never thought myself a narcissist. my favorite painting coincidentally is The Metomorphosis of Narcissus by Salvador Dali. writing down my thoughts for other to read. who knows if anyone will actually read this? but then again its mostly for me instead of you. im only giving you a glimpse into this crazy mind. but me? im no narcissus. in fact i hated myself for years. you'll find out why sometime later. hated myself so much i tried to kill myself. multiple times. but isn't that the ultimate form of narcissism? suicide? suicide is born of depression and hopelessness but also hope. we feel like our lives don't mean, and never will mean, anything. but we hope our suicide will change things, make someone notice us, make someone regret. make us happy. but in the end we all fail, and for those of us who live, things always get better.

The Begginning

I decided that this would be a great place to write "My Thoughts". I will be writing down just some basic day to day runnings of my mind, my dreams and aspirations, fears as well as nightmares, while sometimes giving you a look into the mind of the captain. I know not many will read this and most will get tired after a while but its not really for you that i write this. its for me. i dont regret anything from my past because if i did it would mean i regret where i am. and i certainly dont regret where i am. i dont really know how this works so ill just write in next time i need to let you know something. thats for being faithful. btw i hate capitalizing so i probably wont from now on.